Buzzword

Why Is Self-Love So Important

Self-love is the only superpower that hasn't featured in The Avengers yet. It's the most important and most overlooked relationship we know of. And self-love is also one of the most misunderstood buzzwords that finds itself embedded in hashtags, tattoos, tshirts and business plans. It might be the latest fashion, but you can't buy it.

Let's get one thing straightened out before we continue: self-love isn't cute.

So...what is self-love? First of all, it's a very personal connection you foster within yourself. It is the way that you nurture your body, your feelings, your thought patterns and interactions with the outer world. Why is it so important? Because your levels of self-love impact each and every element in that list, not to mention the relationships you have with others.

I think it was Oscar Wilde who said: to love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.

Self-love is the only marriage that you cannot get a divorce from. And if you choose to love yourself and actively pursue peace within that...well lovely you'll never need anyone else.

Want and need are two very different things, most of us begin our self-love journeys needing someone else to act as a crutch for what we believe we cannot give ourselves. That's normal, but it shouldn't be how you go through life. It would be like relying on someone else to turn the tap every time you need a glass of water. The idea of being completely dependent on someone else for something so necessary would be synonymous to images we have of torture. and not learning how to give yourself everything you require from a relationship is - in it's own way - a form of elaborate torture. despite how painful it may be to come to terms with, many of us are locked into abusive relationships with ourselves. We withold pleasure because we don't feel worthy of it, we gaslight ourselves, don't communicate with ourselves in our love language. We hurt ourselves mentally and sometimes physically, we don't smile at our reflection or express any joy at seeing ourselves. If you were listening to a friend talking about a relationship they were in and they listed all of the things you do to yourself, would you say they were in a healthy relationship? Or would you tell them to get the hell out of dodge?

The thing about the relationship you have with yourself is that you can't get out of it. You can only work on it. Again, rather like a marriage. Self-love is so important because it is setting the standard of quality that you believe you are worth. If you believe you are worth the bare minimum then you will cutate a life full of relationships, experiences and situations in which you experience the bare minimum.

It isn't easy to change how you treat yourself, it isn't the sort of journey that comes with a roadmap. but the work is worth it, you just have to believe you deserve the time, effort and energy it will take to embrace self-love. Because it is the most important relationship you will ever have.