Heiter Blog Post
Self-love is something which you should have in your daily routine, here are three ways to build it in.
3 Self Love Practices For Your Daily Routine
Self-love is more than just bubble baths, it’s more than a cute slogan on a t-shirt or a snazzy present to yourself. It’s a slow journey filled with understanding who you are, who you were and who you will be - and like all relationships it’s a constant work in progress.
Unfortunately that isn’t the story we’ve been sold. Self-love in the digital age looks like marriage with kids, doctored selfies, jet-setter holidays, luxury apartments and a full bank account. What if I told you that where you are right now is enough, what you’re starting with right now is enough? You probably wouldn’t believe me, and that’s okay. However, by the end of this article, I hope to have changed your mind. Self-love is free to incorporate into your life, but it does take determination and perseverance to not go back to that old relationship with yourself.
It is not vain to love yourself and see all the pieces. It is not narcissistic either. It’s a necessary part to building a healthy life, and all the elements that go hand in hand with that.
What I want you to do with these practices is to see and make peace with all the parts of yourself, and then slowly - over time - fall in love with yourself. Because you’re worth it, and if anyone should end up feeling lucky enough to spend the rest of their life with you - it should be yourself x
CHANGE YOUR PRIMARY VOICE
What does the conversation in your head sound like? Often, your default primary voice is the voice of a critical figure in your childhood. You probably go about your day being told a string of sentences that featured heavily in your life when you were growing up, none of them were true then and none of them are true now.
Your primary voice should be a comforting support system, the one voice in your life that cheers you on when you succeed and helps you continue when things are tough. It doesn’t ask anything in return, but it does require you to constantly push that critical voice into silence and pull that kinder one forward. If you struggle thinking of someone who supported you as a child, imagine your older self talking to your younger self and think of the words you’d have liked to have heard. Then talk to yourself with those words, all day every day.
Have your primary tell you it’s going to be okay, even when it feels like it’s not. Have it tell you how amazing you look even when your nose is all bunged up with hayfever. Have it tell you you’re doing great, even when you just got the answer wrong. Have it tell you it loves you, even on the days you feel unlovable.
Change your primary voice, it will change your life.
DATE YOURSELF
We spend a lot of our lives focusing on getting into, cultivating and continuing romantic relationships. They’re all over the media we consume, from the films we grew up on as children to the stories we now read, the adverts that sell us cars/perfume/sofas, and it’s usually the first question we get asked when we meet up with our closest friends.
Dating is the first step in the game of love, and you’re considered lucky if you can still say that you feel like you’re dating your partner a year on, let alone twenty years on. I’m going to argue that other people aren’t the only individuals we need to date, cultivate and continue the romance with. We need to do that with ourselves too.
So much of the time we spend in a relationship is wasted expecting someone else to be able to know how to love us. In fact most of us will often use other relationships as a crutch for the one we have with ourselves; dating yourself is the first step away from that crutch.
Walk out into the world and treat yourself to your favourite thing once a week that you would want a partner to treat you to. Watch a show, take a trip somewhere new, dress up and dance in your kitchen, eat in your favourite cafe. Whatever you look for someone else to do for you in a relationship, do it for yourself first so that you know how to love yourself and you know what to ask for when someone else asks how love you too.
SMILE
Every day you see yourself in the mirror. When you clean your teeth, when you stand in the changing room, when you go to the toilet at work, when you pass the bakery at lunch, when you fix your hair in your phone camera.
You’re everywhere you go, and unfortunately most people, (especially women) feel uncomfortable with their reflection. So every day I want you to wake up and the first thing I want you to do when you see yourself in a mirror, is to smile at yourself. Every day when you wake up, that’s the first thing you do. Smile even if you don’t want to, even if it feels silly.
We always smile when we see people we love; be they friends, family, pets, partners. And we think they’re beautiful when they smile back; we feel happy to see them, and we know that they are also happy to see us. So smile at yourself, because somewhere inside of you is a kid who’s a little bit hurt, a little bit unsure and all they want is to see you smile - so they know that you’re happy to see them too.
You can find Alexandra on Instagram @solemniko and every other week on her podcast Notes From A Small Room - having the self-love conversations they won’t put on a t-shirt. Alexandra believes in self-love, long walks by the sea, dog cuddles and bouquets of carnations.
SLOW Journal Magazine Article
A beginner’s guide to journaling, for those who have tried with no success to cultivate a daily journaling practice.
A beginner’s guide to journaling.
Ever thought to yourself, ‘I should start journaling’? But then you bought the notebook, the pens, the font book and ink squares, opened the first page and didn’t know how to start? Wanting to start a journaling practice, struggling to start one, and struggling to continue one are all common problems. In this article I want to help you build a journaling practice that lasts.
There are many reasons why people don’t start or continue a daily journaling practice, all of them are valid. But wouldn’t it be lovely if - for fifteen minutes every day - you put the reasons aside, sat down with your notebook and said, ‘I am a priority in my own life’?
Every journaling practice is unique to the individual and there are many different types of journaling out there. But the one that is easiest to keep up on a daily basis is simply writing what happened every day, in your chosen notebook. Do you have to get a physical notebook? No, you don’t. There’s no ‘have to’ in journaling, but using a physical notebook rather than a digital one will give you a better experience. It will also lower your screen time, help your brain to calm down and allow you to be fully present in your practice without the distraction of notifications or other apps. You can also add photos, stickers, doodles, recipes, ticket stubs…a physical journal allows you complete creative licence.
As well as advising that you get a physical notebook, I would advise that - at least until a daily journaling practice becomes part of your routine - you follow a template. Templates might sound like they’re taking away the creativity of journaling; but they are an amazing way to build that initial daily habit. Especially if you’re pushed for time or not sure how to structure your entries. Every day you can show up knowing the bare minimum you’ve agreed to contribute to the notebook, and even if you don’t think that you have anything to say, you’re turning up and building that habit. Just like any daily practice, it will eventually become a natural part of your routine and integral to your self-love and self-care.
So how does journaling every day help your self-love practice? At the start of this article I said that a journaling practice is fifteen minutes minimum, every day, that you put aside for yourself, to reflect on how your day went. One of the reasons why people don’t continue their journaling practice is because they don’t feel worth the time it takes to write about their day. They feel like they’re not worth writing about, their life is not worth recording. I’m here to tell you that it is. You matter, your life matters and you deserve the time, energy and dedication it takes to not only create but also maintain a journal. Give that to yourself, just fifteen minutes every day. Fifteen little minutes boxed off for you and you alone. Make yourself a priority in your own life and everything else around you will reap the benefits.
Showing up every day at the page of your journal is an act of self-love and self-care. Self-love is more than bubble baths, or a witty slogan on a t-shirt, it’s more than going for a spa weekend or saying you love yourself on a good day. To love yourself is to be at peace with every aspect of who you are. Putting pen to paper will help you to understand each part of yourself, it will show every corner of not only your personality but also the reality of the relationship you have with your life. Journaling highlights and asks you which aspects of yourself and your life you want to work on, if you’re noting down every day the same things which annoy you or make you feel at peace - pretty soon you’ll spot the pattern and find yourself making healthy changes. Journaling every day will also regulate low moods, increase your self-worth, help you to slow down and make you feel less overwhelmed. All you need is a pen or pencil, a notebook that you feel comfortable writing in - and a template. You get the pen, pencil and notebook…I’ll provide the template.
The Busy Bee Template is one I made for myself years ago when I was overwhelmed with the mountain of tasks I had to complete, and struggling with low moods. The formula can take 5 minutes or an hour, depending on how much time you have that day. Remember the template is the bare minimum, if you have the time and want to write more, write more! It’s designed for completing just before bed, as you’re calming down and reflecting on what happened, as well as what your priorities are for tomorrow. Each section can be completed with single words, a brief sentence or masses of detailed paragraphs; it’s entirely up to you.
The Busy Bee Journaling Template
5 Things That Went Well
Walked the dog
Surfed with the girls
Made raw salad lunch
Finished an article
Stargazed
3 Things To Do Tomorrow
Dinner at The Brasserie
Meeting at 11:00
Collect cake from bakery
3-5 Affirmations
I am enough
Money comes to me easily
I attract high vibe opportunities
Writing is a powerful tool of self-expression, and the joy of journaling is that no one else is going to see the entries. The grammar, the punctuation, the words, none of it has to be perfect - it just has to make sense to you. Above all, journaling should be fun. It should be a safe space to express how you truly feel, and a daily practice that improves not only the connection you have with yourself, but also the way that you live your life.
ABOUT
Alexandra Sebire is the founder of SOLEMNIKO, the How We Came To Be Project and the Notes From A Small Room Podcast. Within her human2human consultancy she offers a range of professional services for brands; ranging from stop motion animation to SEO audits and copywriting. She also works as a playwright, artist and therapeutic art coach. Her aim is to help brands and individuals reach their potential to build a better tomorrow.
Instagram: @solemniko
Life Lovers Magazine Article
Why is storytelling so important when we travel? And why is it so necessary we listen to the stories of others?
The Coach: Storytelling and the importance of communicating life experiences
This month is National Storytelling Week in the UK. So what better excuse is there to sit down and think about not only the stories I’ve heard, the stories I’ve lived and the stories that formed the world I grew up in…but also the importance of storytelling as a form of communication. As a method of Wanderlust.
My experience with storytelling and communicating life experiences has led me to understand it as an integral part of being a human. It’s how we communicate, it’s how we connect, it’s how we understand the world and how we build it too. To share your experiences with someone is to show them how you came to be who you are today, it is an act of trust. To have someone tell you their life experiences is to have a window into their world, to understand them past the perception they offer at the surface. Storytelling and communicating life experiences leads to understanding, it breaks down those barriers so often put in place which lead us to have prejudices and inaccurate perceptions. Storytelling and travelling; the two best educators. So, here’s everything I know about storytelling, and why I feel that it’s so important to embrace communicating life experiences when you travel.
We are all a collection of short stories, set under the title of Life Experience and read by many, but understood by few. Travel allows us to find new stories, both in people and places; to travel is to attempt to understand the world from different perspectives by placing our own to the side and being open to an alternative. It gives us an amazing opportunity to sit outside of ourselves and the world we know, to connect to others who often have little in common with us. Or so we may think at first.
Communicating life experiences is not just important in close relationships, when you speak to someone you’ve never met before - even if it’s just for a few minutes - you have the amazing opportunity to learn about a different way of living. A different way of seeing the world. And sometimes, it just might change your life. The most amazing stories I’ve heard have more often than not been told by complete strangers who I have never seen again; and the stories have always surprised me in relation to what I expected them to be. And every single time it makes me re-evaluate the way I see the world; it makes me flag any prejudices I often didn’t know I had and to re-evaluate the way I live my own life in relation to the many options out there.
Storytelling is the ability to make our experiences into tales which are engaging and teach others something about themselves. The ‘ah-hah’ moment. Yes you know it, that moment when someone said something and it wasn’t even all that serious or deep but something switched in your head and...click. Breakthrough. People will surprise you, places will invite you to rethink life and how you view yourself. That is the gift and sometimes the curse of storytelling.
To listen to other people’s experiences is to realise that no one is better, no one is worse…we’re just all very different, and that realisation is the true beauty of connection and communication.
When you travel, as well as listening to other people’s stories and learning about the stories of places; it’s important to align with your own story. Other people’s stories and life experiences are there to teach us about what is out there. If we didn’t listen to stories we’d never know about everything there is to be experienced, because we will never strive for anything more than what we already know to exist. Through sharing our stories and communicating our life experiences we can find out what’s actually meant for us - we can try new ways of life, and find people along that road who will offer us new paths to explore. Stories are opportunities to learn, opportunities to figure out what authentically resonates and what doesn’t, opportunities to discover new places both inside and outside of ourselves.
3 Tips For Communicating Life Experiences
Set boundaries: Before you get into a conversation with someone decide how much you feel comfortable sharing, how much is safe to share, how much would you feel safe with someone else sharing with you if the situation was reversed?
Listen, don’t just talk: You’ll find out more about yourself and have a more enjoyable experience if you listen rather than just talking or thinking about your turn to talk.
Be present: Stay in touch with yourself while you’re telling your story or listening to someone else’s. How you feel says a lot about the person and the story, and your connection to them. You should never feel anxious or afraid or exhausted, you should feel curious and engaged and peaceful.
About Alexandra
Alexandra is the founder of SOLEMNIKO, a space which prioritises authenticity and enables healing through creativity. In 2020 she set up the How We Came To Be Project; a platform that has worked with individuals, NGO’s and charities from across the globe focusing on highlighting stigmas and offering a safe space for people to tell their story free of abuse or fear of identification. You can find her on Instagram @solemniko and www.solemniko.com She believes that storytelling, incurable Wanderlust and sharing life experiences without prejudice are the way to understand ourselves and others.
The Slow Living Guide Blog Post
Why is journaling a slow living practice? How can we use it to improve the quality of our lives?
5 Essential Tips For A Successful Daily Journaling Practice
Most individuals will buy the notebook, the pen, the accessories and trimmings at least once in their life, maybe even once a year. But very rarely is the act of journaling every day as a practice kept for more than a week at a time. So for something that in theory is so simple, why do we find keeping a journal so difficult?
‘I don’t have enough time’
‘The kids just take all my energy’
‘It never did anything for me’
‘I always seemed to be negative about my life’
‘It took so long to do every day’
These are just some of the excuses I’ve heard over the years, and all of them are valid. But they’re often showing us why we need a journaling practice, rather than why we shouldn’t be incorporating one into our lives.
As someone who has journaled solidly for around five years now and incorporates it as a technique in my therapeutic coaching programme; I can vouch not only for the health benefits of keeping a journaling practice, but also the creative benefits. It’s a great way to start consolidating a life where you focus on the quality of the moments that fill your day, and the importance of the simple elements which we often take for granted. Often the biggest steps in our healing, simplifying and self love journeys is to believe that we are worth the time and energy it takes to invest in something as easy as a journaling practice - so in case no one told you today…you are worth it.
I believe that everyone should have a journaling practice and the ability to incorporate one into their lives, so from me to you here are the 5 Essential Tips For A Successful Daily Journaling Practice; tried, tested and successfully implemented:
01) Eliminate The Fear Factor
The notebook you buy sets the tone for how you view your journaling practice. Take the time to browse in several shops both online and on the high street; touch the pages, see whether you like the idea of writing on lines, dots, squares or blank sheets…finding a notebook that you have to use every single day means that you should be investing in one you connect with and get excited about using. I would always suggest using a notebook that’s physical rather than digital, this is because you’re less likely to be distracted if you’re focusing on paper and there are no apps you can get lost in. It also lowers your daily screen time and improves the quality of your experience. Don’t buy the most expensive, luxurious notebook out there because you’re not going to view this as a tool, you’re just going to get intimidated by it. Get a notebook that reflects your character, and find the pens to match!
02) Prioritise
When you come to journaling you have to come to it with the understanding that there are no excuses and there are no shortcuts, there are just priorities. And if you want to improve your life then journaling is now a priority. If it helps to let people in your life know you’re doing this, (especially if you live with them and they might be inclined to interrupt you without meaning to) that may help you to set aside time that remains yours.
03) Realism vs Aspiration
Most of us are working full-time with social lives, relationships, hectic side hustles and the mess of everyday logistics thrown in. Realistically - each day - we have a window of about ten to thirty minutes where we can guarantee that we won’t get interrupted.
But also remember to be kind to yourself, if something happens and all you manage is one line, that’s amazing! You are a human and this is life, cut yourself some slack and have the goal that no matter what happens; every single day you will come to those pages and write something. Even if it’s just a word. If you have more time then write a little extra, if you don’t then at least you’ve met your goal. You may go through a phase of hating turning up to those pages, but if you do it every day at the same sort of time for long enough, you’ll start to crave the time that you can switch out the rest of the world and open those pages to get your thoughts in order. Don’t believe me? Just give it a try and let me know.
04) Templates, Templates, Templates
I cannot stress this one enough. Using an existing template (check out the SOLEMNIKO Instagram for free templates) or creating one of your own, is going to be the saving grace of your journaling practice. It might sound clinical and completely unemotional; but having a template will save you time, it will help you to prioritise your thoughts and it will increase the quality of your experience. Whether you’re someone who loves to spend hours writing out what happened in your day and processing your thoughts, or if you’re someone who literally only has time for a five minute list of what went well; there’s a template out there for you. Use it and journaling every day will become as easy as the other habits in your life that you don’t think twice about.
05) Personalise
Whether you love taking polaroids and sticking them in, or maybe you have a thing for funky tape and decoupage paper, or perhaps you’re obsessed with quotes from books…add it all in. This is supposed to be your personal space! There is no compromise needed, there is no asking permission, there’s just what you want and how that looks is entirely up to you. Perhaps every so often you want to be able to stick in a chart for how many glasses of water you manage to drink per month, what you’re going to cook, or when your cycle is due. Whatever is important to you, whatever your style is…let it come alive in this journal and be honest about it. Be honest about your life, be honest about your day, be honest about yourself. Because if you’re not honest with your journal then there’s really no point in keeping one, and it definitely isn’t going to be a fun experience.
I hope this is helpful - if you want help with your journaling practice or you wish to explore journaling as a therapeutic coaching method, get in touch with me over at SOLEMNIKO and I’ll be more than happy to chat about what you want and how I can get you there. But remember; you are worth the time, the dedication and the effort a daily journaling practice takes x
Heiter Blog Post
Templates, ideas and inspiration galore…find all the reasons you should have a journaling practice in this article.
Journaling: build a daily practise that lasts
Words and images by Alexandra Sebire
Have you ever bought yourself a beautiful notebook, invested in a fountain pen that comes with an assortment of inks; told yourself that this is the year you journal every day…but then somehow you’ve never got past the first three pages?
This is where most people find themselves. Whatever your reason for abandoning a daily journaling practice is, by the end of this article you’ll hopefully have found the inspiration and motivation that will help you to take down that old notebook and start again.
In this piece I’ll give you templates for starting a daily practice along with some examples, the templates are easy to use and should take no more than 30 minutes to complete. I’ll also tell you the health benefits that come with a daily journaling practice as well as the rewards you’ll reap that include improved concentration, increased creativity and better awareness of your own self-care practice.
What I hope you’ll take away from this is that journaling is a personal experience, and it’s your private think-tank so do it in a way that is authentically you! Buy silly stickers, doodle on the pages, add art, cut out images you come across and stick them in. Build a practice that inspires, heals and nourishes you - because you’re worth it.
So many notebooks! The more you journal the more notebooks you’ll get, experiment with your style or stick to what works…the choice is entirely yours.
Journaling is first and foremost a health benefit. But before it becomes a health benefit you have to have the realisation (which you will either force or come upon naturally) that you are worth it. You are worth the time. You are worth the paper. You are worth the pen. You are worth the space that notebook takes up on your nightstand or shelf. And that might sound a bit crazy but when writing about your life, your thoughts, the daily niggles and everyday moments - you have to believe that your life and all that comes with it is worth recording.
Before you even put pen to paper I would like to invite you to bookmark a time of day - even if it means waking up half an hour earlier than usual - that you are going to put aside every day to journal. At the moment I find the best time for my journaling practice is while I’m having breakfast before I go to work. However when I was living with other people I would wake up very early to journal uninterrupted before the rest of the house was up. Do whatever works for you, but it has to be a time when you will be uninterrupted and not distracted by whatever it is you feel you should be doing with the time that would be more ‘constructive’.
So, let’s talk about mental health. Journaling is the best tool for increasing positivity, gratitude and awareness of issues within yourself and your life. Writing every day and getting what’s in your head out onto the page is both healthy and constructive. I began journaling when I was going through depression as a teenager, today I journal because if I don’t I feel ‘wrong’ all day! And honestly I put getting out of depression down to journaling every day, without it I don’t know how I would have coped.
If your mental health is better your emotional health will also improve which will impact your relationships and overall view of the world as well as yourself. Improved mental and emotional health has a knock-on effect with our physical health…basically why wouldn’t you journal?!
If a notebook doesn’t appeal or it seems a bit overwhelming to choose one that you feel should be perfect, start by writing on your laptop/phone/tablet. Do whatever works for you!
As well as being an amazing health benefit, journaling also helps to create a positive habit that is basically the first step in self-care. Building a daily journaling practice will make you reassess your other habits and probably have a domino effect on how you practice self-care in other areas of your life. This might show up as inputting healthy boundaries, taking time out for you, setting up a grounding practice for recentering yourself, disassociating from people and situations that bring you down.
So, how do you get into this habit? Like all habits it isn’t a simple fix and takes dedication, daily motivation and the desire to build it into your life. It can take anywhere from 18 to 264 days to form a new habit depending on your personality and dedication - for journaling it will probably take two weeks for it to feel natural and a month to have cemented it into your life as a daily practice. Anytime from a month to a month and a half and you’ll probably start really noticing the positive effects it’s having on you and your life. After two months I reckon you’ll start making those big life changes that have been asking for attention all these years!
Most people don’t keep to a journaling practice because they don’t have any way to construct an entry. That’s the reason I couldn’t keep one for years, and it’s not an uncommon issue at all. At the end of the day we’re all different so the way we journal will be too. Below are two templates for creating a daily journaling practice that I have used over the years which have been incredibly beneficial to me. I hope one of them works for you!
Add quotes, photos, cuttings from magazines - whatever inspires you.
01: The 5 x 3 Rule
I created for myself to improve my mental health. It’s amazing for increasing positivity, focusing on the good things that have happened and also fitting into a busy schedule! Usually completed at the end of the day, this template doesn’t require lengthy paragraphs so it’s great for social butterflies or busy people with a full house or intense work schedules. The 3 things to do tomorrow will break down your to-do list to manageable chunks while keeping you on track and prioritising what actually needs to be done rather than 10 things that you’ll flap over without actually getting any of it done. Also, just a little word here for anyone feeling overwhelmed by the thought of having to find 5 things that went well every day; these things don’t have to be huge like you got a promotion or completed K2 of Mount Everest. They can literally be that you cooked yourself dinner from scratch, made your bed, had a shower, got up before noon and went for a walk around your garden. Be kind to yourself and build it up slowly.
5 Things that went well (these are your Heiter moments!)
Made breakfast
Walked a new route into work
Swam in the sea on the way home
Went out with the girls for drinks
Stargazed
3 Things to do tomorrow
Finish website audit
Have a Heiter moment
Pack suitcase for the weekend
3-5 Affirmations
I am enough
I am beautiful
My sex life is so healthy
Make your journaling practice into a self-care ritual for yourself.
02: The Morning Person
This is my current template and it’s one that was inspired by The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. It’s great for morning people who like to get in a good mood before the day starts, work all the angst out of your system and start as you mean to go on. It does require more time and more writing but it’s a really relaxing one.
Morning page
A page that you write without thinking about it. Just do a mind-blob and don’t worry about what it say
3 things to do
5:30 piano lesson
Clean windows
Order new Heiter issue
5-8 affirmations
It is okay to make mistakes
I am rich
It is wonderful to be so successful
I am open to love and intimacy
I attract high vibration energy
Positive opportunities are available to me
Every day I get closer to my dream lifestyle
Alexandra Sebire is an artist, writer and journaling coach based in Poole. She set up SOLEMNIKO studio to be able to practice several disciplines while giving exhibitions, workshops and classes. Find her on Instagram at @solemniko or www.solemniko.com where you can keep track of exhibitions or workshops near you and sign up to her journaling coaching classes if this article has inspired you.
Ekō Magazine Article
What gives me hope in a world so full of darkness? An article written for my work with the How We Came To Be Project.
Article by Alexandra Sebire
It’s strange getting used to the labels that society defines you by. I’ve gone from being ‘student’ and ‘writer’ to: ‘student, ‘scriptwirter’, ‘entrepreneur’, ‘acivist’ and ‘project manager/founder’. It’s a lot of labels for a twenty-year-old girl to hold in her hands, and that’s without all of the more personal ones. But wow am I proud of that twenty-year-old girl.
And how did I get here? How did I get these labels? How did I find hope having lost it? I think it all has something to do with feeling I had nothing left to lose, taking a series of calculated risks, believing in my abilities and wanting to change things. Oh and also realising that I could do whatever I put my mind to.
Of course, nothing’s really as clear cut as: I fancied setting up a global project, so I just did it and am raising awreness of humanitiarian issues, combatting stigmas, taboos an prejudices, mamking international collaborations and telling oridnary people’s stories. Nothing is that simple. It’s true, but like every story we tell, or every picture we post; there’s a deeper story underneath.
I’ve been battling ivisible illnesses since I was 15. After a good two years of blood tests, scans and appointments with GP’s and specialists, being tested for ‘nasties’ then everything else under the sun they decided on glandular fever. This led to a lymphatic disorder, adrenal exhaustion, lucid dreams, water retention and anxiety. None of this has been cured but I’ve got better at dealing with it. Last year I contracted a vira disease that is both stigmatised and uncurable. So, another thing I learned how to deal with. Both of these changed my life.
At first,I thought they were the worst things that could haveh appened, maybe they were…but they were the worst things that could have happened to a life I didn’t enjoy and needed to change. And wow did I change. I had to re-evaluatte what I wanted, reinvent myself, change my goals; improve my lifestyle, my work ethic, my determination to succeed. Not all of the re-evalueation was healthy, there were many, many stages I had to go thorough to get here and most were less than fun. But that too was part of the processs of building what I have today. And I wouldn’t change it. When you’ve gone through hell by yourself you have a new appreciation for the power you have over your lifie and a ne appreciation for yourself too.
I’m lucky, I’ve had emotional, physical support with all of it. But it’s like everyhting, people see one perspective and you’re experiencing 10,000 other ones. That was part of the reason for the Project. I had a better awareness and appreciation of the experiences of others; and ther realisation that while what I had been through was difficult, billions of others are surrering in ther own personal hell. I never wanted to know that someone felt alone when I was able to do something about it and give them what I hadn’t had. I wasnted to create somewhere safe and secure, a place where I could smash taboos, address humanitarian issues, somewher epeople could tell their sotry in their own words. No filters, judgement orr fear of identification. Where better to do it on Instagram? Where our masks are glorified, our realities filtered beyond recognition. I’ve now found that’s only one way to use social media.
With every story sent in, every collaboration achieved I get more hope in myself, more conviction that this is right; and stronger knowledge that behind the posts, the words, the actions and silences everyone has a reason why they are, and how they came to be where they are.
Both the Project and I have a long way to go until we reach our full potential, but I don’t feel alone anymore and the Project is more successful, healing and hopeful than I dreamed possible.
If you would like to contribute or collaborate with the How We Came To Be Project I am contactable on:
Howwecametobeproject@gmail.com